Oil Slick

We're goin' in, goin' in
We're goin' in, goin' in
Gotta get it out

The synthesis
Of a million years
Deep within Her depths
The constant flow
To and fro
Of life itself

From what we came
To which we shall return
Don't we remember

The hijack of
A vital sustenance
To mass produce
To continue
Brings forth asymmetry
A disproportion
A twisted divergence

Now the water is darkened
The air reeks of death
How long till we learn
Is this our last breath

Conforming to cause
A change in direction
For we are gods
It's time we listened

words

a government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.

pondering..

it has been a good few years since i last wrote in this blog. but in that time, i have experienced and learnt much of this life. i have come to know many individuals who, in one way or another, shared this journey of discovery with me.

i believe i have progressed much in my understanding of Life and the Universe. i cannot say that i now know what my true Purpose is here, but i do know that i decide what it is, whenever i want. i have come to know that this Reality, as we call it, is only as real as my senses tell me it is. it is a view of the world that is projected onto a Curtain..and this is the Illusion that we have come to accept as Reality. what we see displayed on the Curtain is exactly what we want to see, however we choose to view it.

a deeper understanding of Life is what i have yearned for, and i still do, since i embarked on this journey. and i know that i will not fail in discovering the Truth of my existence.

State of Chaos

economic turmoil. inflation. unemployment. poverty. suicides.

wars. nuclear threat. sanctions. uprising. protest. genocide.

the world seems to be in a state of chaos.

or is it?

goin' where the wind blows

someone said life is for the taking
here i am with my hand out waiting for a ride
i've been living on my great expectations
what good is it when i'm stranded here
and the world just passes by
where are the signs to help me get out of this place

if i should stumble on my moment in time, how will i know
if the story's written on my face, does it show
am i strong enough to walk on water
smart enough to come in out of the rain
or am i a fool going where the wind blows

here i sit halfway to somewhere
thinking about what's in front of me and
what i left behind
on my own, supposed to be so easy
is this what i've been after
or have i lost my mind
maybe this is my chance coming to take me away

if i should stumble on my moment in time, how will i know
if the story's written on my face, does it show
am i strong enough to walk on water
smart enough to come in out of the rain
or am i a fool going where the wind blows

here i am walking naked through the world
taking up space, society's child
make room for me
make room for me

am i strong enough to walk on water
smart enough to come in out of the rain
or am i a fool
going where the wind blows

- "Goin' Where The Wind Blows" Mr Big

spin spin sugar

Dylan eased the craft onto the tarmac.
smooth as silk.
checked the levels.
camber, hydraulics, thrusters.
and juice.
he eased it forward.
speed steadily rising.
Daphne giggled with glee as she watched his hands move over the controls.

"you ready?"
"already!"

the leap forward was unbelievable.
nanotech at its best.
he knew what he was doing.
excellent timing.
deceleration, curves, hairpins.
at the last turn, sideways as he braked.
gentle halt.
panting.
rapid heartbeats in spite of the safe surroundings of the interior.

"another spin?"
"do you?"

meaning "you bet!"
Dylan smiled. that's my Daphne.

my goddess

i want you
i don't just want you
i want you

i don't think you understand

i want you as much as the world needs calm
i want you as much as heaven lacks harm

as the feet long for one more mile
as the chest hurts for one more breath
as envy tastes oh so vile
as to abandon you would mean my death

i want you for pleasure and for pain
i want you like chocolates and cocaine

an obsession this is not
an addict i am not
but to you i am drawn
without choice, reason long gone

i will you to understand
and you must comprehend
there is nothing i can do
give me the world...but i'll just want you

beauty anywhere

i sat at the back in church this morning.
there was a little girl who sat in the pew in front of me.
little girl of about two and a half feet tall.
pink dress with matching pink and white shoes.
pitch black curly hair that curled around her ears.
eyelashes that curl upwards adorned her smiling black blue eyes.

such a happy kid.
smiling and laughing to herself.
i wasn't so sure what she found so amazing in that place.
but we can only guess what a child perceives.
aunties around her turned and smiled.
nobody was disturbed by her pleasant noise.
she could have reminded them of their own childhood.
times when they wore pretty dresses and shoes.
when they laughed when no one did.
when they made others smile.

her mother kept looking round to see what she was up to.
she hushed her when her laughs went over the acceptable decibel limit.

poets unite!

i attended a performance poetry workshop. it was truly the best 8 hours i have ever spent on anything. it was jointly organised by the British Council and Project OMG. the workshop was conducted by UK poet Malika Booker, a funky little goddess with Caribbean descent. she is a very animated character who took her job very seriously. her spirit and energy somehow reminded me of Antares. i suddenly missed Uncle Ant.

i really did not know what to expect from the workshop and in the first half hour or so i was really intimidated. the workshop was attended mostly by people who had had experience in writing and performance arts. some even had extensive writing credits. most of what i write end up in the wastepaper basket. eeep.

performance poetry, as i learned, is slightly different than poetry on print. the first part of the workshop focused on how to analyse poetry by dissecting poems according to its structure (e.g. the memory, the moment, the epiphany, etc.). then we were given the chance to free-write, where Malika played us some inspirational music and told us, "I wanna see your pen move and never stop until i say so!". so when the music played, we just wrote down anything that occupied our minds at that moment. things like grammar, spelling and relevance did not have to matter. after that we were told to pick out thoughts and ideas and to identify the memory, the moment, the epiphany, etc. then we proceeded to pen all that down into a crafted poem.

the next part of the workshop revolved around how to perform the poems we wrote. now, when it comes to performance poetry, there are other elements that are involved in a poem's presentation. it is no longer printed on paper. it has to be delivered on stage with voice, intonation, motion, etc. that is why it is not just a recital, but a performance. Malika actually turned us all into performers within just a couple of hours. she knew exactly what she was doing.

it was the first time i had ever presented my writing. my feet turned into jello and i was holding on to the mic stand to keep from collapsing. as i read my words, i could feel their eyes fixated on me. and when i finished i actually received an applause. whoo!

it was truly a good start to my weekend. intensely productive.

i had my Goddess to thank for a day well spent.

perfectly natural. undeniably inevitable.

"The emergence of AIDS, Ebola and any number of other rain-forest agents (viruses) appears to be a natural consequence of the ruin of the tropical biosphere.

The emerging viruses are surfacing from ecologically damaged parts of the earth. Many of them come from the tattered edges of tropical rain forest, or they come from tropical savanna that is being settled rapidly by people. The tropical rain forests are the deep reservoirs of life on the planet, containing most of the world's plant and animal species. The rain forests are also its largest reservoirs of viruses, since all living things carry viruses. When they come out of an ecosystem, they tend to spread in waves through the human population, like echoes from the dying biosphere.

In a sense, the earth is mounting an immune response against the human species. It is beginning to react to the human parasite, the flooding infection of people, the dead spots of concrete all over the planet, the cancerous rot outs in Europe, Japan, and the United States, thick with replicating primates, the colonies enlarging and spreading and threatening to shock the biosphere with mass extinctions. Perhaps the biosphere does not 'like' the idea of five million humans. Or it could also be said that the extreme amplification of the human race, which has occured in the past hundred years or so, has suddenly produced a very large quantity of meat, which is sitting everywhere in the biosphere and may not be able to defend itself against a life form that might want to consume it.

Nature has interesting ways of balancing itself. The rain forest has its own defences. The earth's immune system, so to speak, is seeing the presence of the human species and is starting to kick in. The earth is attempting to rid itself of an infection by the human parasite. Perhaps AIDS is the first step in a natural process of clearance.

I begin to wonder, with a sense of foreboding, if AIDS might not be the end but only the beginning. I suspect that AIDS is not an accident or an isolated occurence but a step in a natural process that does not look friendly to my species, and that AIDS might not be Nature's pre-eminent display of power. Whether the human race can actually maintain a population of five million or more without a crash with a hot virus remains an open question. Unanswered. The answer lies hidden in the labyrinth of tropical ecosystems. AIDS is the revenge of the rain forest. It is only the first act of the revenge."

taken from "The Hot Zone" by Richard Preston

wishful thinking

charges.
declines.
withdrawals.
and fucking procedures.

my job?
wishful thinking.

and that's how it works

i found this in my wastepaper basket as i walked in this morn:

the intertwining threads of thought
amplified by words
and made real by deed...

gives birth to reality.

don't you think?

furry black handcuffs

it is the hunger.
and the need to feed.
and the anticipation.
and of course
the yearn.
for it to never end.

ever.

only human

satan and christ are smoking a joint, sharing life experiences. satan describes the many fights he had been in. how he learnt that not only could he survive one-on-ones, but that he could still stand after he made a few goons eligible to be wheeled into the ER.

christ takes a long drag.

"the only fights i've been in were karate tournaments. with headgear and all. i figured i could beat a guy up proper. only legally."

pet

don't fret precious i'm here
step away from the window
and go back to sleep

lay your head down child
i won't let the boogeymen come
count their bodies like sheep
to the rhythm of the war drums
pay no mind to the rabble
pay no mind to the rabble
head down, go to sleep
to the rhythm of the war drums

pay no mind what other voices say
they don't care about you
like i do
safe from pain
and truth
and choice
and other poison devils

see
they don't give a fuck about you
like I do.

just stay with me
safe and ignorant
go
back to sleep
go
back to sleep

lay your head down child
i won't let the boogeymen come
count their bodies like sheep
to the rhythm of the war drums

pay no mind to the rabble
pay no mind to the rabble

head down, go to sleep
to the rhythm of the war drums

i'll be the one to protect you from
your enemies and all your demons
i'll be the one to protect you from
a will to survive and a voice of reason
i'll be the one to protect you from
your enemies and your choices son
they're one and the same

i must isolate you
isolate and save you from yourself

swayin' to the rhythm of the new world order and
counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums

the boogeymen are coming
the boogeymen are coming

keep your head down, go to sleep
to the rhythm of the war drums

stay with me
safe and ignorant
just stay with me

i'll hold you and protect you from the other ones
the evil ones
don't love you son
go back to sleep.

- "Pet" A Perfect Circle

rapid and painless

i saw it coming.
i saw the rain.
i watched the torrents.
the wind drew patterns on the road.
elaborate.
random.
rapid.
levels rising against sidewalks.
with full awareness, i decided to walk.
despite the hole on my right sole.
it took seconds.
the streets became alive.
under gloomy skies.
footsteps.
laughter.
umbrellas.
raincoats.
jokes.
smokes.
gloves.
darker skies.
quick hands.
quicker feet.
eyes see in the dark.
silent.
swift.
painless.
the drop.
head lands first.
blood mingles with streetwater.
creating scarlet pools.
knife?
gone.
before the drop.

slow burning

a relationship is very much like a joint.

here's why.

before you light it
you admire the perfected art involved in its making.
the perfect cone.
comfortable size.

after it is lit
you go through a series of fluctuations.
emotional.
spiritual.
physical.

when it is done
you don't look at its ugly state and frown.
you see beyond its brown, burnt butt.

instead
a huge amount of gratitude is due.
the experience is undeniable.
beautifully forthcoming.
natural.
sincere.

above all
its euphoria cannot be denied.
its afterglow we bask in.

and sometimes
we go back for more.

en-couragement

listen
to what they say
all that rings true in the end

awaken
in me
the intentions that they don't see

spoken
tonight
it's something i cannot fight

forsaken
inside
i know my thoughts i must not hide

broken
eternally
i am hopeful yet i am free

forbidden
enthroned
the feathers wave and i'm alone

hurt

i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing thats real

the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have i become
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end

and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

i wear this crown of thorns
upon my liars chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair

beneath the stains of time
the feelings dissapear
i am someone else
i am still right here

what have I become
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
i will keep myself
i would find a way

an afternoon on clap road

bright sunshine
hotter than hell
long straight road ahead
but lonely
pretty green trees
with green outstretched branches
like arms and fingers
reaching out to grab
and hold on to
like so many before