compliment

now i've taken the side
of a beautiful calm
can you see this disguise
fading to a resolve

and there it goes my innocence
while gathering up a compliment
and here I lie with words to swear
there's something more than
the world out there

hesitation compounds
i've nothing left to sustain
my worries here have allowed
a momentary refrain

and there it goes my innocence
i'm dying here for a compliment
and here I lie with words to swear
there's something more
than the world out there

- Collective Soul, "Compliment"

stonefaced and oblivious

at this very moment, the whole universe can come crashing down and i wouldn't give a fuck. i have been slacking to such an unbelievable extent, that i'm utterly amazed at myself. overdue deadlines. ditching classes. lack of sleep psychosis. idiosyncrasies. and the inevitable urge to procrastinate. i know the reasons. and i just choose not to do a damned thing about it.

who says?

my dear friend barnaby jones says:

Church is not a saints' club but a sinners' hospital.

who says?

my dear friend burnout says:

The Book is with God.
The Pen is with Us.

a horrendously charming weekend

some doors are meant to be kept closed. when a chapter is concluded and closed, it is usually wise to not go back and open it. then you painfully discover how unhealed you are. and everything comes crashing down like an enormous avalanche, taking everything with it...

the devotion of a saint...

Lord make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. And where there is sadness, joy. Grant that i may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand, to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive- it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in dying that we are born to eternal life
-- Francis of Assisi

...and i thought i knew God and how the world works...

extract from the mind & spirit vaults of Erowid

God Is Not on My Side. Or Yours.

The air-cond in the cockpit seemed to be working fine. Yet, beads of sweat trickled down his brow. His eyes are fixated on the view in front of him. His hands gripping the controls with anxious determination. He leans forward against the controls and just before the nose crashes through the windows he shouts, " Allahu Akbar!"

He adjusts shirt and tie before stepping out to meet the camera flashes and the rain of questions. Asked about his thoughts on recent events, he starts describing how devastated he was when he watched the first plane crash through the tower. "This is a war and we are under attack." He looks directly at the camera and adds, "If you're not with us, you're with the terrorists." Just before he waves to the blinding flashes he says, "God bless America."

One eye squeezed shut. The other looks sharply into the scope. He places the crosshair right between the Iraqi's eyes. He grips the rifle tighter as his finger touches the trigger. He whispers, "Let not my Strength fail me. Let not my enemies mock me." He squeezes the trigger.

Hitler simply asked, "Who says that I am not under special protection of God?"

How does God choose whose side to be on? Or does he even bother?
Whose prayers does he choose to listen to? Why?
God herself has said, "Your will is My Will."
Then we complain that God was never on our side.