my vanilla dream

i was at a stadium. i was standing in a corner, watching it all unfold.
it felt like a parade.
there were mascots of all sorts. huge and colourful. all smiles.
i saw a big white bird with a red beak.
the Four Horsemen took the stage.
they launched into song while James fumbled with his f-hole electro acoustic.
James sang standing beside the drums while Lars thundered away.
i saw Kirk on the drums next.
then he looked at me and shrugged.
i was swimming in a music video.

and the song that was playing? MachineHead's "Silver".

identity theft

by Alan Cohen

Identity theft is a very hot topic these days. Nasty hackers are stealing other folks' credit card numbers and posing as the owners to illicitly buy goods. Quite uncool.

There is an even more dangerous form of identity theft that you are already a victim of, one which runs far deeper than your credit card. You have been taught to believe that you are someone other than you are. I know this is sobering, since you think you are someone. But you are not who you have been told you are. You are someone better.

Grand theft identity begins soon after you arrive on earth, and intensifies with age. A participant in one of my seminars paid an unexpected visit to her son's religious school and found him sitting in a hallway garbage can. "What are you doing here?" she asked him. "I talked out in class and the teacher made me sit here as a punishment," the child answered. With that, the mother removed her son from the trash and the school. The school was guilty of identity theft.

A 21-year-old fellow at another seminar had been diagnosed with cancer at age 17. One day when Charles was scheduled for chemotherapy he learned there was a Grateful Dead concert in his town that night, and he decided that the concert would be more fun to attend. Charles' parents and doctor pleaded with him not to go to the concert, but he went. That night he started to feel better, and within a few months his cancer disappeared. Charles reclaimed his identity as a healthy kid. 

During last year's summer Olympics, U.S. gymnast Paul Hamm was favored to win the men's all-around, a series of five events. During the vault competition, Hamm slipped on his dismount and fell onto the judges' table. He was penalized severely and instantly dropped from 1st to 13th place. The television announcer grimly noted, "Paul Hamm will remember this error for the rest of his life."

With two events left in the competition, U.S. observers hoped he could miraculously work his way back to a bronze medal. Then, in the rings event, Hamm turned in a stellar performance. To everyone's amazement, Hamm emerged with the gold medal by a margin of 13/1000th of a point - the slimmest margin in Olympic history.

When the TV commentator noted that Hamm would remember his error for a lifetime, he attempted to perform on-the-air identity theft. Yet Hamm did not let the announcer steal his identity as a champion. Indeed he will always remember that night - not for his disgrace, but his triumph.

Take care that no one robs your identity as a whole, innocent, powerful, brilliant, creative being. Take special care not to speak of yourself as a loser, or do desperate things. The world can't afford another hacker.

faith

i had a conversation with Wise last night. it was refreshing to talk to him after so long. reminded me of my purpose. there was something about his tone and warmth that is always reassuring. no matter how trippy my rollercoaster ride was, i could always count on him to tell me that it's alright.

we concluded that faith is indeed a tricky thing. i mean, it is difficult to have faith in what is "real". that's just it. what is real? sometimes i have trouble determining whether what i think/feel/see is real. but that is just on the surface. and these deductions go deep. they play a vital part in our interaction with objects in our reality. not knowing what is real could very well be my biggest nightmare ever. screw spiders, clowns, fiery pits, demons or even the end of the world. tell me what is real, and i'm the happy puppy.

i admire those whose faith is as strong as anything. they can never be uprooted. that's not because they are stubborn or closed. it's probably because their faith comes with an immense dose of trust. i've had the privilege of meeting such people. they have no idea where their next meal is coming from. but they trust that the agenda of the day has already been taken care of.

then Wise asked me, "are we even supposed to worry about these things?"

look within.
ask yourself what it is you're looking for.
and if you're patient enough, the answer will find you.

can i say hello again?

the first light of the morning greets thee with splendour
the light, soft wetness of the mist touches your cheeks
and as you breathe in the cool air of the morn
i close my eyes and silently weep inside

your smile in itself sends waves through my soul
as i watch the flames flicker in your eyes
i'm reminded of the sun and all its glory
i clench my fist and wish i'm taken away

the energy you emit used to electrify my circuits
now it just fills me up and makes me long for more
sometimes i wish i had never met you
can i say hello again?

the gal on the floor

gal on the floor
what're you looking for?
a metaphor?
a latino whore?
or should that be an albino bore?
well, whatever it is you're looking for
you'll still be the gal on the floor

erm...this my experimental attempt at Spontaneous Poetry Under the Influence (SPUI), pronounced "spooyeee". and my first guinea pig was Stephenie Dawn Gregory. she's not imaginary, i swear. anyway, she gave me the thumbs up. so, Steph...this is to you. :)
danke shon!

more chain letters, anyone?

if i had a dollar for every chain letter that was
ever created, started and survived till now, i
could buy a Mercedes SLK.

if i had a dollar for every chain letter dripping
with obvious stupidity, i could buy a speedboat.

if i had a dollar for every person who passes on
chain letters, i could buy Bill Gates.

wish you were here

so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
a smile from a veil?
do you think you can tell?

and did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
hot ashes for trees?
hot air for a cool breeze?
cold comfort for change?
and did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

how i wish, how i wish you were here.
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground.
what have you found?
the same old fears.

wish you were here.

- Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here"

...i couldn't have done it better...