heropsychodreamer

i'm feeling lost in my bowl of soup.
twirls. encircling.
drawing me to the center.
deeper.
away, away.
my talon-grip on reality letting go.
i'm already soaring.
escaping.
i tilt my head back and spread my hands.

unjustifiable yearning

i may know love.
but i also recognise an addiction.
the need to be with. never without.
an unjustifiable yearning.

i crossed the street as quickly as i could. to avoid the drizzle and to avoid the cars.
the entire store was lit prettily. like a christmas tree.
the cold air hit me as i stepped through the glass doors. i knew within a few minutes my body would start to shiver.
i looked around. she wasn't in sight. she must be upstairs. as i ascended the stairs, i overheard the manager saying something to the staff downstairs. wished my manager was as kind. moje, for whom a smile is a weekly event.
as i reached the upper level, my fingers were almost numb. i found my hands delving deeper into my pockets. the cold is crazy.
and there she was in the crafts section, placing a book onto the shelf overhead. i went up to her, thinking of what i would say to startle her. then, she turned. as her eyes met mine, i forgot about the cold. beauty captivating the deepest folds within me.
'hi,' i managed.
'hey!'
that smile. she was startled anyway. yay.
the blood in my veins was about to freeze over but i didn't notice.
i was thankful for escaping the cold as we stepped outside.
i was thankful for her.
holding her gentle hand as we walked in the drizzle, talking of absolutely nothing.
the glances i stole at her were rewarding.
we stood beside her car for a good few minutes. both trying to ignore what's about to come.
i ran my fingers through her gorgeous hair as she drove.
as we stopped at the junction, i tasted her lips.
of course, i had difficulty tearing away. as always.
before stepping out, i touched her hand and looked into her eyes.
'i love you,' i whispered.
the raindrops did not help as i walked away.

pardon me while i burn

dear blog,
i know it has been quite a while since i've written. i found myself unable to find inspiration in anything at all. no motivation whatsoever. but that was just a phase (i hope) and it will come to an end. but it will take me a while to start writing again...or to do anything else for that matter.

had an excellent diwali.
in kuantan with uncles, aunts and kids.
bright faces, great company, great food.
even karaoke!
fair amount of revelations.
my magdalene was with me the whole time.
then i was blessed to meet Her at Telok Chempedak.
that half hour was the best in four days.
the taste of burnt strawberry and mint on her lips remains unforgettable.
a certain uncle was noticeably generous.
(un-)surprising joy.
now back in my room.
playlist of jimi and joe.
great amounts of responsiblity awaits.
project to work on.
should i get a job?



sorry, got carried away with my air-guitar.
satriani's a love thing.
suddenly admiring the glow that my curtains set across the room.

i'm not even sure why am i writing this way.

well she’s walking through the clouds
with a circus mind that’s running round
butterflies and zebras
and moonbeams and fairy tales
that’s all she ever thinks about
riding with the wind.

when I’m sad, she comes to me
with a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
it’s alright she says it’s alright
take anything you want from me, anything
anything.

fly on little wing

look ma, it's my clone!

human cloning: the review

in the final year of my multimedia degree course, i'm required to work on a project that essentially will determine the honors of my degree. i have decided to work on an information cd-rom on the topic of human cloning. this cd-rom will incorporate animated menus and videos as well as original background music and sound effects. the content of the cd-rom will consist of raw facts on human cloning: the processes involved, the different types of embryo cloning, etc. it will also feature the different opinions on cloning from ethical, religious and governmental perspectives. nothing biased.

in order to start work on this project, i wanted to get a clear insight on human cloning first. i started reading. i also asked around in my circles. i wanted to gather the general opinion on cloning. the subjects included those whose level-headedness and intellect i absolutely trust.

now, i'm able to formulate my own perspective of cloning involving humans. i asked around if a clone would have a soul, given that he/she grows up to be a perfectly normal human being with emotions, dreams, hopes, tears, pains and joys. then, i thought that if a clone had a soul then it would definitely mean that God is okay with it. now, i think that clones do have souls. i'd like to believe that souls use human bodies as vessels. we are merely vehicles that harbour our souls through this experience.

our souls have a purpose to fulfill in this life, and that is to experience certain aspects of this life. once fulfilled, the soul will leave the body and inhabit another for the next experience. for that purpose, i think that it is entirely possible that clones have souls. their souls would have their own purposes to fulfill.

so, do i think cloning should be encouraged? why not?

Human Rights Declaration

by Antares

There are two very basic human rights that are often overlooked. These very basic rights have far-reaching implications affecting the way we look at reality.

THE RIGHT TO LIVE

This right has historically been completely disregarded when those who wield hereditary power have decided to wage war. The military solution to economic, political or ideological conflicts is very rarely justified. Warmongering is an infringement of humanity’s right to live by its highest ideals. All those involved in war activities - which includes the development and manufacture of death-dealing devices - must be regarded as potential killers. Their thought-patterns and behaviour can be classified as pathological. I would extend this classification to those engaged in commercial and industrial activities that have deleterious long-term effects on the environment - because the right to live implies the right to a healthy natural environment.

The Death Penalty is a vestige of moral barbarism and I urge that it be abolished throughout the world.

THE RIGHT TO DIE

Now let’s look at another basic human right: the right to die. All forms of drug addiction may be regarded as subtle ways to commit suicide. And although we do what we can to discourage people from terminating their lives prematurely, the final prerogative belongs to the individual. We must respect the right of others to die, if they no longer wish to live. Therefore, I propose that all forms of drug addiction be decriminalized, and that drug addicts be regarded as potential suicides - and since the suicidal tendency is essentially a pathological condition, treatment or therapy must be freely provided to those who seek it.

I would like to see Malaysia’s mandatory death penalty for drug offences abolished. Stringent drug laws only serve to make the illicit drug trade more lucrative for criminal syndicates. Supply will drop dramatically – and, most likely, so will the demand - when addictive substances are available over the counter at regulated prices with the same quality controls as other consumer products.

Drug addiction may not disappear completely, but decriminalizing it will definitely relocate the problem where it belongs - in the medical, sociological and psycho-spiritual context.

outmost difficulty

for the first time in so long, i had trouble tearing myself away. i can understand why she didn't glance back for a wave or a smile as she drove away. it would have broken my heart further. it is like an addiction i cannot fathom. the more i am with her, the more i want to stay. but i had a heavenly time enjoying her. smiles. laughs. teases. and the simple beauty she beholds. i intended to treasure every moment we had. but now my heart breaks.

i need someone to convince me that it was not a dream. please.

777

that's the number displayed on the counter. it is also the 7th month since i started this blog. and yes, it is now 7pm. perfecto? absolutely.

i have been trying to analyse the most common and obvious effects of alcohol consumption. time travels faster. the ability to concentrate is greatly impaired and this in turn affects the ability to walk/talk/drive/ejaculate.

also, as with any psychoactive, alcohol does provide the temporary gift of alternate perception: you might look at something...anything...in a different light. you might be able to consider different opinions and possibilities.

quiet people become quieter. other quiet people become boisterous. boisterous people become more boisterous. i once knew this dude who itched for a fist-fight as soon as he's "there"; his tolerance then hangs by a thread. certain individuals tend to long for physical intimacy...i believe the term is "horny".

some tend to dwell in their emotions. unknowingly, they start pouring out whatever it is they have been suppressing within. pent-up hurts, anger and hate. in contrast, some become overly joyous and cheerful. i have heard of the possibility that someone's "true" personality is revealed in intoxication. creepy thought, that. then, happy is he who maintains his mask after downing a litre of good old russian vodka.

the following is from an article i found in the vaults of Erowid:

How Alcohol Works :
Alcohol is rapidly absorbed into the bloodstream from the small intestine, and less rapidly from the stomach and colon. In proportion to its concentration in the bloodstream, alcohol decreases activity in parts of the brain and spinal cord. The drinker's blood alcohol concentration depends on:

• the amount consumed in a given time
• the drinker's size, sex, body build, and metabolism
• the type and amount of food in the stomach.

Once the alcohol has passed into the blood, however, no food or beverage can retard or interfere with its effects. Fruit sugar, however, in some cases can shorten the duration of alcohol's effect by speeding up its elimination from the blood.

In the average adult, the rate of metabolism is about 8.5 g of alcohol per hour (i.e. about two-thirds of a regular beer or about 30 mL of spirits an hour). This rate can vary dramatically among individuals, however, depending on such diverse factors as usual amount of drinking, physique, sex, liver size, and genetic factors.

Effects :
The effects of any drug depend on several factors:

• the amount taken at one time
• the user's past drug experience
• the manner in which the drug is taken
• the circumstances under which the drug is taken (the place, the user's psychological and emotional stability, the presence of other people, the concurrent use of other drugs, etc.).

apparently,it is the amount of alcohol in the blood that causes the effects. that explains why certain individuals worship the toilet bowl all night with their puke after only 6-7 pegs.

another interesting fact about alcohol lies in the common rule that prohibits minors from consuming alcohol. this is because one's liver has not fully developed before he/she turns 18. once 18, the liver is said to be fully developed and is "ready" to face alcohol abuse. so kids, it's wise to listen to the law. for now.