biohazard: self-destructive fool

i'm a hazard to myself
i really am
please stay away from me
i'm too radioactive
i wouldn't intend to harm you
but i might
i've been doing that to myself for years now
i've been doing that to myself for tears now
there's a reason why i shy away
why there's a force field around me
sometimes even i can't break through
leave me alone
don't bother me
i'm a hazard to myself

can i disappear...?

as starlight breaks into the sky
where will i go...into the night
fantastic ringing of distant voices
in my soul
ban my choices

we have waited for oh so long
doubtful now
i don't belong

passion filled
i'm mortified
misery
are you satisfied

feed my soul and take me out
i long to let go
i scream and shout

bitter kisses lead to vast dismay
untie me now
i will not walk this way!

for you were there to hold my hand
you had my back and i had you then

for you were there to wipe my tears
it's all long gone
can i disappear?

parabol

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form
I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.
We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now.
Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal.
All this pain is an illusion.

parabola

We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment,
We are choosing to be here right now.
Hold on, stay inside
This holy reality, this holy experience.
Choosing to be here in
This body.

This body holding me.
Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.

Alive, I

In this holy reality, in this holy experience.
Choosing to be here in
This body.

This body holding me.
Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.

Twirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing.

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment.
Remember.
We are eternal.
All this pain is an illusion.

'nuff said

i love my father

+

I love my father,

his name is God.
That is not his only name, his name is also Ram.

I love my Father, God,

he is everywhere, even inside of you,

but because you forgot to love God when you forgot to love you,

then you don't know about

THE LOVE OF GOD

you thought you did,

but that is before you knew that

God

is also named

Ram

and not just a formless intelligence, but

PRIME CREATOR SOURCE.

I would do anything for my Father,

and I have done everything that he has ever asked me to do for him,

even when it has been hard for me,

but he doesn't ask me to do anything anymore,

because my job on planet earth is finished,

all he asks me to do, is all that he asks you to do,

and that is to

LOVE YOURSELF,

for in loving yourself, so do you also love

my father, and your father too.

His name is Ram, although most people just call him God.

I just wanted you to know that.

+

Onaxis

Jesus The Christ

how far will we go?

how far will we go to express a point? how many times did you find yourself or others repeating themselves when trying to get the message across. what causes this? why is there a gap in communication between ourselves? you try to tell someone something in a particular way, he looks at you acknowledgingly, nods and basically repeats what you just said but only in another perspective. this can prove to be so radically diverse sometimes...too much for comfort. then you stop to wonder about the mechanism behind these things. there obviously seems to be limitations in the way we communicate. but what are they? language? vocabulary? or intellect?
Antares once told me that there would be no reason for any two enlightened beings to communicate (or at least verbally), simply because there is an equilibrium of knowledge and intellect between the two. they both have the exact same mental capacity, knowledge (the Everything, basically) and infinite sight. what reason would there be for them to waste time in smalltalk?
the situation is different when the equilibrium doesn't exist. we find ourselves trying very hard to make another understand what we are trying to say. would such limitations exist if we master telepathic communication? mind to mind communication, bypassing the barriers and limitations of vocabulary and language. i would just have to look at you (or not), and you would know i need the saltshaker...and that is not a metaphor.
i've typed too much...now i need a cigarette.