the next cycle

i have just entered the next new cycle. 22 years has indeed been a journey. colourful, fascinating, disturbing, joyful, unpredictable, incomparable, out-of-this-world. those are a few of the adjectives i'd use to describe what it has been. needless to say, it has been one great ride. a long long road. bumpy. slopes. ruts. and the inevitable tulips amidst green hedges.

looking back. many events mark my timeline. some of them bring back smiles while some i'd rather forget. i have done some good things. i have done things which i am not proud of.

there are individuals whom i have loved, offended, hurt (emotionally and physically), abandoned, shared my life with, missed. i'm also aware that there many who would die for the chance to put a bullet in my head.

in the past, i have spent too much of time thinking that i'm right. looking back. i have wronged so many. i have taken from the innocent. i have been the cause of many a tear. i almost hate the person i was. i have a right to. and i perfectly understand when i am hated.

for these and many more reasons, i can be sure that eternal damnation is my only destination. unavoidable. the hand no longer strokes. it now grips a dagger.

happy birthday, rainchild. may the good lord bless you. or not.